..... .... ... .. . mimi

so m es s y! !! !!!!!

so i call it a mess,some will say its a disaster...to try & say that i still love u is so damn hard. well i think u noe,but u are just ignoring.well i dun wanna make u feel akward or anything but i just hope for the best for u. as i said before, to see u happy will be the most rewarding gift that u'll ever give me. i'll always be here for u no matter what,remember. i've said it countless of times,well it was like two years ago and im still here. well im already ready for the day when u'll really fade away out of my life.i just hope that u'll be happy. coz i dun wanna have u making any decisions. its set. its wad god wants.its wad ur fate is. u can cry as much as u want but when its fate,thats that. i'll never make u leave him. never. well maybe if he gets to know that u're meeting me behind his back,he could leave u.but i noe,that will never happen.

my life is so complicated...

recently,i've had this sudden feeling of being lonely. i've started to feel that i have no one to tell my everyday to,share my days with,hear my thoughts,make me smile. it just came to me.just like that,bang! & i've decided not to celebrate my birthday this year. so my plan is to stay at home the whole day and lock myself in my room the whole day. well as i noe, not alot of people read my blog so......i cried alone when i think of my birthday.i feel so sad i dun noe why. well birthdays are supposed to make people happy but it seems so depressing to me when i think of it. never really felt like this before,well maybe its just my life. i've wasted it.

when u feel that its all been fixed,that when that someone can make u change ur life,that someone goes,and leaves u all alone...well thats unfair

well carear first now.i wanna earn as much so at the end of the day when i wanna settle down,i noe i wont have problems with money... =)

16th Nov...my bro my best is getting married. well at last,after all this year,im happy for u

Nazrudy Nasrul & Kartini

the person who i noe that will always be there for me...

it happened again.damn,its ok goin servicing tomolo.this was half of what that really came out.

well i must settle my hp bill,credit card bill,my insurance,my stupid fines,my moms monthly,my bike instalment,my season parking....haiz stop ok! kepala sakit lah...

well before i forget,she asked me the most unexpected question today n also suddenly out of the blue,in the middle of our conversation....

'kalau aku jatuh longkang ko save aku tak?'

wat kind of question is that...

well,i will....coz i'm SUPERMAN!!!

Thursday, October 30, 2008 // 11:50 PM

its okay,its empty

along is fine,its a good thing he's fine.his bike is...hancur. so careless,caarefull la bro...

& so the Liza look-alike...

nearly there uh,when i showed kalil liza's pic,he was shocked n everytime i meet him,he'll ask,mi,ko tak jumpe ex ko..den he laughed,taik!~

BoX-Less

just because that someone die2 ask me to take out my box,tak abes2 she will ask me to do this do that,hello!~ its ma bike ok...

anyway,that day i went to BP to meet her,well thought that i could,she was in her PJ's & her nerdy specs smoking,haha yeah till her bro came down,apa lagi cabut la geng...the bro was like starring at me asking who i was...shit!~ die ready lah,but its ok...cause get to cabut...haha

stop talking about getting married la! stop aje,sakit teliga...all that u can talk wit him. whenu are with me u have to stop tat nonsense,im not the one planing ur marraige or getting married with u so stop aje ok?!

but it was great getting to meet ya even for a while after so long. well eventhou it was so late at nite uh. just tell me where i dun care abt the tim anymore.well u can have whatever you like...

i was abit disspointed not getting the managerial position as they decided to get one of the management trainiee there.well as ken sid,maybe the next one ill be mine,bu watever pun,as long as im getting promoted again and getting a pay rise its fine for me...well i se people quiting their jobs,or jobless,well are they not afraid? the economy is so bad rite now n the still can relax? this people, really dun think of their future,only think of enjoying life,having fun. wake up la! others are making money and are there spending it all away...be more mature la okay...

well at least im gonna be successfull.hopefully my police case dies off as a warning.
haiz...

but being successfull dosnt mean being happy,well as i call it"2008 tahun taik". the person i wanted to get married to dumped me,the person who i got to meet back again and the one who is the girl of my dreams is getting married next year,well looking at it,becoz of love,i hate my life rite now...

BUT hopefully inshallah,everything would be better...

I was young but I wasn't naive

I watched helpless as you turned around to leave

And still I have the pain I have to carry

A past so deep that even you could not bury if you tried

After all this time

I never thought we'd be here

Never thought we'd be here

When my love for you was blind

But I couldn't make you see it

Couldn't make you see it

That I loved you more than you'll ever know

When part of me died when I let you go

I would fall asleepOnly in hopes of dreaming

That everything would be like it was before

But nights like this it seems are slowly fleeting

They disappear as reality is crashing to the floor

After all this timeI never thought we'd be here

Never thought we'd be here

When my love for you was blind

But I couldn't make you see it

Couldn't make you see it

That I loved you more than you'll ever know

When part of me died when I let you go

After all this why

Would you ever wanna leave it

Maybe you could not believe it

That my love for you is blind

But I couldn't make you see it

Couldn't make you see it

That I loved you more than you'll ever know

When part of me died when I let you go

When I loved you more than you'll ever know

When part of me dies when I let you go

Blind - Lifehouse

Wednesday, October 22, 2008 // 11:53 PM

self-realization

arhg fuck lah,and so everything went from bad to worst. yeah its a good thing i have never seen shafa since we broke up,hopefully i dont break down if she walk past me.it so confusing why i still hav this mixed feelings eveytime i think of her. i have never let go of her. i dun noe why. but it still hurts. it sucks uh feeling this.i dun wanna feel this but i dun noe la okay.fuck uh.its frustrating to think of all this. its frustrating. yeah,she changed and become so damn different and cruel,i'll just hope she doesnt do the same thing she did to me to anyone else,OR someone does the same thing back to her...inshallah tak lah k,well i have to go on. yeah,maybe i'll get to see her in heaven,when everything ends...

~

and so its been a while since i and sue talked.when she calls its always when im bz.hopefully i'll get to talk to u tomolo aite...im tired already...

~

there was this gerl i got to noe.she looked liked my ex,liza...yeah but our pic is with kalil,so takpe,maybe next time...

~

blood was dripping all over but i was still standing looking at them.with my left hand i wiped down the blood that was dripping down my mouth.i wasnt fighting,but i was getting myself beatened by some guys who tot that i was the friend of the person who they were looking for.swollen my lips are,but suprisingly,i felt great,all the frutration i had inside me all went away thru the pain...

.:everything crumbled when u left me,well im not blaming u maybe its my balasan to all the wrong things i did to everyone...

Monday, October 13, 2008 // 6:38 PM

still you!!!!

i still cant forget you...
im dont noe,but im here still waiting for you...
even i tried erasing every single memory of you in my mind..
i still want you..
just you..
not sue not anyone else...
just wanna tell you that...
im still waiting for you...

Friday, October 10, 2008 // 1:34 AM

SHR~~!!!

my family

rossy-joey-sham-mira-mimi-ayu

an emotional moment with nyayi ku

the cuzzies

me & wak

our 1st Photo

me & ayu

otw to grannys

together with abang & wak lan

enjoying the food

yes,hari raya,only a day of family,well it was an okayday,my wallet didnt kopak after giving out duit raya,haha

went home that day,well i realized i missed someone on hari raya nite...

i realized it was my late grandpa...

so i sedekah kan al-fateha...

&soooooo i have to learn and cramp alot of things in 3 months,and yes ah!!!!! im goin to get promoted again,just 3 months ago,now im getting it again,alhamdulilah,dapat naik gaji lagi! well this thursday on D&D im gonna recieve an award! yeah,2 years in a row, well that means im doing well uh...well thats all...gotta work tomolo...

*~mimi

-i.miss.berhari.raya.with.you...yeah.you.

Monday, October 06, 2008 // 11:35 PM